I am a cradle Catholic and grew up in a home where it was very important in my family. We went to Mass every Sunday and would often gather to pray the rosary. But as I grew up, I started to drift back and forth in practicing my faith. It was not until later on in life that I started to feel like something was still missing. I was still pretty unfulfilled.

This troubled me for years. Eventually, I decided to talk to a pastor about it and this began a journey of discovering things I had known all my life but not experiencing them. The more I read and talked with others, the more I wanted to know. 

I remember reading a gospel passage one morning and was so perplexed by it. When I approached our parish, they suggested Alpha, and this is when things changed in my faith. 

Before Alpha, I had a personal relationship with God but it did not feel deep. At first, I was skeptical about it. Whenever Fr. Matthew talked about Alpha or Discovery faith studies… I always told myself I don’t need that—I go to Mass and I practice my faith. Little did I know how my life would be impacted by taking Alpha and Discovery faith studies.

I had worried about my schedule and coordinating Alpha but to my amazement, it always seemed to work out. I would sometimes come to Alpha late from work or  I would come tired but the moment I stepped into the coffee shop where we met, it felt like strength came from nowhere. 

There was something about the videos at Alpha. Perhaps, it is the way the topics are discussed or the conversations around the table but it was so enriching. I had heard the messages before but it was a new take on familiar topics. The first night was challenging as I did not know what to expect. I always tell myself that I am an introvert but as the weeks went by, I found myself having so much fun at the table as we conversed on different topics. I became more and more engaged, wanting more and more.

The defining moment for me was the Alpha weekend away. I did not know what to expect but as I watched and listened to the videos, I wanted to experience what was being said. I wanted to be ‘close’ with the Holy Spirit and my goodness, He did not disappoint.

That night, when I got home, I sat on my usual couch and started to pray on my own. 

All of a sudden, I was filled with the Holy Spirit. It was a type of joy and laughter that I had never known or experienced before. 

I went from sitting down on my couch to kneeling and raising my hands in the air in praise and worship. I was praying, singing and dancing with joy. 

I was also physically healed. My knee which had been bothering me for years was healed—I had been suffering from knee pain. Often my knee would ‘give way’ while I was walking especially downhill. Now, I can kneel without pain and walk as fast as I can. And run to catch the bus! Physical healings still happen today.

My life has changed and continues to evolve by God’s Grace. My relationship with God and my prayer life has deepened. My life is filled with so much more joy and peace. Being part of my parish community and getting involved in the parish has amplified. I also have this new kind of ‘boldness’- I am still exploring this. 

I still do what I used to do—go to Mass, practice my faith but it is different now in ways that are hard to describe... My life has truly been blessed and I can’t wait for more.

My outside world has not changed, but I am the one who has changed. I am not perfect in any way, shape or form. And I remain a work in progress.